Relationships can be things of wonder. When they're passionate and filled with wild nights and one-for-the-road mornings, relationships are fantastic. For most of us, our lives with that special someone bounce back and forth between the standard highs and lows, valleys and peaks of day-to-day living. However, there are some situations that defy reality and put you and yours into the worst-case relationship scenarios possible. There are some moments when you realize this could be as bad as it gets.
Buckle up and take note so that you recognize when your love life hits one of the worst-case relationship scenarios.
| No.1 - She dumps you for someone in your family |
Getting dumped is bad, but it’s worse when you have to see your ex over and over again. Even more terrible is when you see your ex at family functions because she’s boning someone in your family. Maybe it’s your brother, your uncle or even pops himself. She’s found someone better than you and they happen to be in the family. This scenario really sucks because not only did you lose your girl but her latest selection will cause you to lose some family. Even worse is that you may still have to buy her a gift for Christmas in the family grab bag.
| No.2 - She used to be a man |
How long did you dismiss that Adam’s apple? Ever take a good look at the size of those hands? Just when things get good and the relationship has settled, you discover that she used to pee standing up. You find out that your Eve used to be Steve. You’ve encountered a moment in man history that is sure to mess you up. Remember not to lose your mind when this information comes out and stay cool. Her penis was probably not bigger than yours.
| No.3 - She sperm jacks you |
Being a victim of theft can put pressure on a relationship. It’s even worse when it’s your girl who is the thief and she’s sperm jacked you. Her motives could be to trap you and keep you from leaving, or maybe she thought you were her last chance at a family, but regardless of her reasons, she seduced you out of your nut-butter and now you have a permanent, nine-pound bond on the way. Be a man and be a father to your child but realize his mom is a thief and put you in one of the worse-case relationship scenarios ever.
| No.4 - Her baby’s daddy comes back into her life… from prison |
You, she and baby makes three. You and her little guy became a family. You know he’s not yours but you know the father is way out of the picture. However, you didn’t know how far out or why until he showed up from the big house. We’re not talking a little car theft or white-collar embezzlement. Her baby’s daddy was locked up in prison with the words maximum security attached. He’s no stranger to shanks and shower-loving and now he wants to see your girl and her kid… or should we say his girl and his kid?
| || No.5 - She’s suddenly trying to choose between you and a woman |
Every relationship goes through moments of uncertainty. But this moment is more than just tough; it’s a worse-case relationship scenario because your girl isn’t confused about being with you or another man, she’s wondering about being with another woman. Sure, flashes of threesomes run through your mind, but this girl-on-girl is not going in your favor. Your girlfriend or wife is caught between boy-meets-girl and going full Ellen. Try explaining that breakup to your bros and keeping some sense of self-respect!
| No.6 - You discover you’re not the dad… on his 18th birthday |
Life has been good. You, she and your little boy (or little girl) have been a family forever. One big happy family and you’ve made sure that they have both wanted for nothing. You’re the man after all, right? That means being a good partner and a good dad… even if he isn’t yours. Say what? Isn’t yours? Maybe she tells you or maybe you find out when the real pappa shows up at the front door and junior blows out his birthday candles. However you discover the truth, it sucks because you’ve shelled out to raise this kid and you’re attached to him, financially and emotionally.
| No.7 - She admits to an STD but doesn’t know when she got it |
Sex is great. She’s always bringing new things into the bedroom: whipped cream, leather, crabs. Wait, crabs? Yes, this worst-case relationship scenario begins when your beloved springs knowledge of her venereal disease on you. What makes it even worse is that she doesn’t know when she contracted it. Now you’ve got to go over the calendar to see when she got what and from whom she got it. Not to mention that you need to get to the clinic as fast as possible.
| No.8 - You get a place together and she quits her job |
You found the castle of her dreams. Sure, it was outside your price range and it’ll be a little tight even with both of your incomes, but you can afford it. Then bam, she ups and quits her job. You just bought a mortgage and she decides she can’t take another day in the office. You may now have a little domestic hottie at home cooking and cleaning (or you may get a giant slacker), but all the Suzie Homemakers in the world can’t pay the outrageous mortgage. This situation especially sucks when the outrageous mortgage was her idea.
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