Rejection is a part and parcel of growing up. If you are in a relationship, rejection is surely something that you've thought over. However, handling rejection in relationships is not a cake walk and moreover, not something that you expect. Nevertheless, when it happens, it needs to be dealt with in the right way. Dealing with rejection in relationships is just a realization that something beautiful is in store for you. Those who say, don't fall in love, if you don't know coping with relationship rejection, are scared of rejection themselves. Anyhow, let's see how can I make handling rejection in relationships better for you. Read more about how to deal with rejection.
He/she wasn't meant for you and that's the bare truth of it. It's for you to learn dealing with a break up. Accepting the rejection is the first step towards dealing with relationship rejection. You will yield nothing if you keep pestering the other person to make up with you. In fact, this will ruin what you have with them and depress you even more. So, get up, face it and decide to move on!
So, you've been dumped and honestly, there's nothing that you can do about it. For handling rejection in relationships ask yourself a simple question, who's next? You may think, rejection means you have no 'charm' or an 'edge'. Trash all those thoughts and look at yourself in the mirror, eye to eye. The charm is still enchanting and the edge has never been better. Shift your thoughts to potential prospects and head out for dinner tonight. Read more about moving on after a break up.
Treat yourself to an exciting day outside. Go shopping, splurge a little at a spa, mall or an exotic restaurant. Surely, you must have saved a little in the hope that your love would accept you and you could take him/her out. Now, spend that money on loving yourself. A penny saved, is pleasure earned!
Start socializing, more than ever. Go out with friends, change your status on social networking sites, party harder than ever and love yourself like there's no tomorrow. Let all your friends know that you are single and available. There will be a queue of admirers at your doorstep. Sulking will shun your potential healers away. Read more on relationship breakups.
OK! You were in love or you are in love, but the fact remains that one always loves oneself the most. It's just that we forget it for a little while and find ourselves in a trap of negativities. Remind yourself that you love yourself. Do so by saying 'I love myself'. You are the center of your universe, don't let a mere rejection deviate it.
Promise yourself that you will never allow yourself to be in fear of rejection in relationships. This means you will very much fall in love again and rise like a phoenix. The faint hearted give up on themselves, but it takes a brave heart to live a real love. Tell yourself that you will find someone even better, who is worthy of your love.
Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig
The Timing Is Off
Chances are, you've had at least one breakup that left you wondering, "What the hell just happened?" The guy dug you, you dug him, and the whole thing felt destined for a fabulous future — at least the foreseeable one. Then, out of nowhere, he bailed on the relationship. So what went wrong? The sad truth is, maybe nothing. Here are five completely ridiculous reasons guys kick you to the curb. Warning: For the most part, it ain't pretty.
Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down. That means after every other aspect of our life is in order — whether it's finishing grad school, finally pulling down a good-size paycheck, owning a car outright — or when our friends start dropping like flies (that's guyspeak for getting married).
But if you catch a guy before he hits that magical stage of his life, then he's liable to bolt — like Patrick,* 28, who dumped Bridgett after two years, then got engaged to the next girl he dated after only 10 months. "When I was with Bridgett, all of my friends were single and I was still an intern with nothing going on in my career. So every time she'd bring up our future together, it felt like she was jumping the gun," he says. "I didn't break up with her because she was wrong for me. I ended it because I didn't want to commit to anyone right then. But by the time I met Elizabeth, I was in a settling-down frame of mind."
We're Not Finished Playing the Field
Men are natural-born one-uppers. If there's a possibility of upgrading what we already have for something better (that'll make our friends drool), we say, bring it on! So we wind up always wondering if you're really as good as it gets. (I know, scumbag mentality.) "Whenever I meet a new hot chick, I consider what it would be like to date her, even if I have a girlfriend at the time," says Andy, 30. "The grass is always greener. No matter how great his current girl is, a guy doesn't want to feel like he's missing out."
In addition to our opportunistic tendencies, most guys feel compelled to put as many sexual conquests under their belts as possible. "I admit it — I know the exact number of girls I've slept with, no mental calculation required," says Dan, 29. "That's how aware I am of how many notches I have. And I'd never commit until I felt like I'd experienced enough different women." Every guy's definition of enough is different, so there's a chance he wrote you off just because you didn't come late enough on his own personal hit list. The moral of the story: Until we grow up, mark everything off our sexual checklists or have too many friends convince us that we can't do better than you, the flight risk is real.
We're Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario
From the times you chastise us for leaving a wet towel on the bed to those nights you rip through a pint of fudge ripple without stopping to breathe, we file each incident in a mental folder labeled Evidence She'll Change for the Worse. We flip through that file whenever we're trying to decide if we want to hang on to the relationship. Blame our married friends who took the plunge before us, but many single guys are hyperaware of what could go wrong down the road. Even if we're crazy about you now, we panic that you'll pack on the pounds, want sex only once a month and nag us day and night. So we secretly flag certain things we're scared might be a harbinger of bad things to come. "I've seen it happen to too many of my friends," says Elliot, 29. "All they do is bitch about how the sex takes a total nosedive after they get serious with a girl. So sometimes, even if the woman I'm dating is a horny little minx, I freak out and bail."
We're in Like, Not in Love
It's harsh but true. In fact, it's probably the most common reason we bolt. Just because a guy likes you a lot isn't a guarantee that it will evolve into love. And we're surprisingly intuitive when it comes to figuring out a girl's potential on this front. "I stayed with one woman for two years because the sex was great and she never pushed the issue, but I knew the minute I met her that she wasn't The One," says David, 30.
So why do we invest any time in a relationship that we know will ultimately end? Because we're able to live in the moment for a while and chalk it up to a good experience. But once you show that you're way more into us than we are into you, we'll dump you out of guilt. "I dated this girl for about a year, but as soon as she started using the L word, I had to end it," recalls Jay, 29. "It was hard. I cared about her and didn't want to hurt her. But I knew that if I stuck around, she'd have been happier at first but miserable later on. After all, she deserved to be with someone who loved her as much as she loved me."
We're Too into You
Just when you thought it was all bad news, here's a hard-to-fess-up admission: Guys are protective of their emotions. Translation: We're scared shitless of being hurt. So, if we start to feel like we're getting into a situation where we'll be destroyed if you dump us, we might launch a preemptive strike and yank the plug first. For Gary, 27, showing his girlfriend of two years the exit felt like the only choice. "She was the first girl I was serious with, and I didn't like letting someone have that much power over me. I was starting to feel emotionally needy, and that was uncomfortable for me," he recalls. "So I ditched her to save myself!"
Sounds crazy, but cut us some slack. Think about how vulnerable and paranoid you feel when you're nuts about a guy, and realize that we go through the same thing with girls we really like. But our friends aren't as good at helping us get over an ex as yours are, plus being openly heartbroken makes us look like wusses. Nope, it's better to act like a winner before you turn us into a loser, which is when our natural self-preservation may come into play. Before the real humiliation and pain assail us like a plague, ending the relationship seems like a good option.
Signs that your man's getting ready to bail
His cell phone is always off. He might be spending time with someone he doesn't want you to know about...or he just doesn't want to make himself available.
He's reluctant to make plans. If he hems and haws about committing to anything — even if it's in the semi-near future — he's thinking about making a break for it.
He's meaner. The passive-aggressive breakup is a guy standby. Some men intentionally turn into a-holes to make sure you break up with them.
He's not into sex. He doesn't want to feel connected to you — or he's getting his needs filled somewhere else.
Overcoming Rejection After a Serious Relationship
Chances are, the majority of your serious relationships won't end with wedding bells or eternal bliss. They will end with good and bad memories and often time rejection.
If you happen to be the rejector, then life seems a bit more manageable. It's comfortable to be in control.
When your partner is the rejector however it's like having a messy bedroom and not quite knowing how to clean it up. Every thing seems wrong and doubt seeps into your mind like rain through a leaky roof. On the other hand, you happen to be a lucky member of the human race who has the power to make decisions and the power to make the decisions which will make rejection seem like it's only another step to a very successful future.
Take a look a 6 decisions you can make to overcome rejection after a serious relationship with a positive outcome:
Tip #1: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship with People
Whatever you do, no matter where you go, make the decision to avoid isolation after the break up of a serious relationship. Associating with other guys or other girls may feel pointless, boring, and painful but you'll find that gradually you will start to wake up and remove the lenses of your past serious relationship.
Tip #2: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship through Change
Once rejected, it's common to wonder what you did wrong. It's common to wonder whether or not it would have helped if you had been thinner, more beautiful, more patient, more successful, given your partner more compliments, etc. It's simply a good idea to establish in your mind why it was that your partner decided to reject you and then move on.1 If you like, talk to your x-partner and ask him or her why. If that seems impossible tell the truth as you know it. Try and decide what she or he was thinking and then determine one way that you can change for the better. Don't change for him or for her but because you are smart enough to know that you can and do want to become a better person for yourself and for those serious relationships that will accompany you in the future.
Tip #3: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship with Laughter
Laughter relieves our fears and anxieties like no amount of drugstore variety medicine can. Seek out what makes you laugh and make sure you get a bit of laughter every day after a break up. You'll be surprised how often you can focus completely on the aspects of life that you love when you are busy enjoying the funny side of life.
Tip #4: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship by Talking
Tell you friends what happened. Tell them how you feel. Ask them what they honestly think and take their constructive advice with humility.
Tip #5: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship with a Hobby
After a severe breakup some individuals crash down in despair because a serious relationship and people in general is what they live and die for. This is the time to get a hobby. If you don't have a hobby you can turn to at this point, this is the time to develop one. High energy exercise, dance and outdoor activities can be especially relieving. Some individuals prefer artistic expression or quieter forms of individual expression. Singing or the theater can also be amazing forms of release for those with overloads of emotional energy.
Tip #6: Overcoming Rejection after a Serious Relationship with Service
When you are rejected you are in no stage of mind to think of others. You want to think about yourself and it's natural to feel that way. Get used to the fact that sometimes we have to work against our natural tendencies. Find someone to serve or participate in a cause that is worthy. Evaluate your beliefs and values. Perhaps you may find that this will be a great time to explore other ideas, religions, groups or hobbies.
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