Remember and do not forget:
The center of a woman's happiness is to be loved, but the center of a man's is to be admired. As you give admiration, he returns love. A woman who can meet this need is a treasure to him.
Men like admiration so much that they will do things on purpose just to give you an opportunity to ohh and ahh over him. Never let yourself be too busy, tired or preoccupied to notice. Mrs. Andelin states in the book that men stray from their wives, not so much for a sexual need, but because they are thirsting for admiration.
He does not want you to admire those traits that are a like in both men and women. He wants you to notice and comment on his masculine traits and abilities. The very first thing you need to comment on in his masculine body. These are the physical features that set him apart from women - large build, tight muscles, deep voice, large hands, hairy chest, mustache or beard, etc. Move on to admiring his special masculine skills and abilities, masculine achievements, masculine goals and dreams, masculine character traits, and his masculine role as the leader and guide.
In order to find things to admire you will need to think about him. Get your focus off of your problems and chores and onto his. You will also need to observe him and keep your eyes open. Lastly, listen to him talk.
There is a special skill in being a good listener. Follow this rule: Do not listen only to what he is saying, but to the man who is saying it. It doesn't matter if he talks over your head or if he talks about a subject totally uninteresting to you, you can still use the occasion to admire the man doing the talking. He will say things deliberately to arouse your admiration - don't miss your chance.
Rules For Admiration
- Be sincere. If you are using superficial flattery he will see it as just a manipulative ploy to gain some benefit for yourself.
- Be specific. Don't just say something vague about him being manly. You need to say how he is being manly and be ready with an answer.
- Accept him first. If you admire some things but are critical of others it will be like serving him a piece of moldy pie with whipped cream on it in an attempt to disguise it.
- Think about him, observe him, and listen to him talk.
- List all the flaws of your husband.
- List all the things that you admire about your husband.
There will be some women out there who find it easier to admire their husband than list his flaws. But I would venture to say that most of us find it easier to list their flaws. It's a part of our sin nature!
So let's break out of that mold - go against the grain of the world and praise our husbands!!!
This weeks Marriage challenge is: Admire Your Husband. If you are a blogger write a post all about your husband and what you admire in him and then show it to him! He will smile! If you are not a blogger, list the things you admire about your husband in the comment section and show it to him!
Showing it to him is so important. You may THINK he already knows the things you admire about him - but I'm afraid we don't tell our husbands often enough how much we do.
Wouldn't you love it if he did this for you? Luke 6:31 says "Do to others as you would have them do to you." So here's your chance to selflessly gush about your man!
Here's what I admire about my husband:
- He is wildly intelligent. He continually amazes me with his ideas, visions, and success.
- He is fiercely strong. I have said before - "he is stronger than 1,000 warriors". He has survived much in his life and can handle heavy burdens and challenging situations with ease.
- He is quick witted and hilarious! He makes me laugh all the time. His perspective on life and happenings crack me up!
- He makes the kids laugh - he is a fun dad. Just 2 days ago, in the midst of being extremely sick with no voice - he was popping cherry pits out of his mouth by pushing his nose or pulling his ear. The kids roar with laughter! Actually, at times I have to ask him to stop being so goofy cause the kids get out of hand. He is a very fun hands on daddy.
- He is a patient listener. He listens and listens and listens and when I think I'm done but remember one more detail I want to share - he listens some more. I am very chatty and he is an excellent listener. He is the same way with the children. Every bedtime that he is able, he sits on the bed with each child and talks with them about their day. These turn into 30 minute conversations regularly - I love it!
- He is loyal, trustworthy, dependable, and reliable. What he says he will do - he does. He is a great provider and strong leader. He is extremely consistent.
- Under all his mighty warrior strength, he is tender. He has a soft spot in his heart for me and the children. He would move mountains for me if he could. There is nothing he won't do for us. His favorite thing to do with Alexis is paint her nails. And his favorite thing to do with Alex is play football and teach him martial arts moves.
- He loves Jesus. He teaches the children about Jesus. He prays for us. He fasts with me when I have heavy burdens. And he can be found regularly in his office reading his Bible in the mornings.
- He has a very generous heart and hand. I wish I could share with you all the times he has generously given - but he would not be fond of that. But trust me - this man is a giver - big time!
- He supports me in this ministry - Women Living Well. He encourages me to stand strong. He wisely advises me on issues. He keeps me focused. He shares my passion and is my sounding wall regularly for what I write on here.
It's your turn - tell me what you admire in your husband - and don't forget to show it to your husband! If you are linking up below be sure to link back to this post!
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