Many women sadly say the phrase, "my husband ignores me," each and every day. Marriage is a partnership that is built on mutual love and affection. When one side of that equation starts to disappear, everything within the relationship becomes off balance. If you are tired of living in a relationship with a man who you feel takes you for granted, now is the time to make some changes. If you're committed to making your marriage work because you love your husband, you have a challenge ahead of you. It's certainly not insurmountable though. You have the power to completely transform your relationship with your spouse so you can get all the love and affection you need and want from the man you married.
Talking to your husband is essential if you feel that he's ignoring you. You need to do this in a very delicate and non-accusatory way. Plan some time alone with him and then gently tell him that you've been feeling a bit neglected lately. Naturally, every man will respond ifferently to this. He may become defensive and if that's the case, pushing the issue will likely only result in you ending up feeling more disconnected from him and hurt. If he seems shocked, then it's obvious that he had no idea that his actions were causing you to feel that way. In that case, just explain what you've been noticing and what you can do together to change things.
Unfortunately, most women will be confronted by a man who just doesn't understand why she's feeling ignored. This is natural as men become so immersed in other parts of their life, notably work, that they just can't clearly see how it's impacting their marriage. Fighting with him over this issue will probably make him pull back even more. Instead, you need to work alone to change it. That may seem impossible, but it's actually not that difficult at all.
Have you ever sat back and thought about how dramatically your life has changed since you married? For most of us, it has meant a loss of part of ourselves. It's challenging to find the right balance between time for you and time for your children and husband. Your own identity can get washed away and you end up being primarily a caregiver. You need to change that now and start focusing more on you. Your husband fell in love with and was enthralled with a dynamic, interesting and confident woman. You need to find that woman inside yourself again. Don't get caught up in the idea that you're doing this primarily for his benefit. You're not. Once you work on becoming more of the woman you want to be, your husband is going to sit up and take notice.
Right now the man you married is essentially taking you for granted. You have the tools and the knowledge to change that. Put yourself at the top of your priority list and watch how quickly his attitude changes.
Tips For Getting Him to Notice You Again
Marriage as an institution and a practice has been around since ancient times. Anthropologists tell us that it likely started out as a way for different tribes of people to create alliances amongst each other. It has also had a number of historically-significant benefits, such as allowing for the couple to share in the duties of maintaining a household, making a living, and raising children.
Over the past few thousand years and through today, marriage has evolved into something more than just a social contract. It has become a vehicle for something called romantic love. And, even after the white-hot passion of the first few years of marriage wears off for most couples, there remains a romantic connection between them throughout their lives. Not only that, but many couples report actually being not only lovers, but the best of friends as well.
Of course, every marriage goes through hard times when the couple do not feel romantic or loving toward each other - and definitely not like friends at all. Usually, this rough patch improves itself and gets better over time. And yet, for some couples, things just seem to grow colder between them by the year with no resolution in sight.
For a woman who feels that her husband has become more distant over the past few months or years, it is common to feel all alone in her pain. Friends may start to grow weary of hearing the complaints, and often family does not understand or can't help. It can be hard to know where to turn for advice.
If you find yourself saying often, "My husband ignores men," here are 7 tips for getting him to notice you again:
- Decide whether he still loves you:
This is perhaps the hardest question to answer without some sort of verification from him. But, you need to try to determine within your heart whether your husband still loves you. If he has some love for you in his heart, there is hope for your relationship.
- Pay more attention to him:
Unless you are the type of woman who pays too much attention to her husband's needs and not enough to her own (in which case, skip to #3), you may be able to get your husband's attention by paying more attention to him. These things tend to work both ways.
- Find ways to acknowledge his unique greatness:
Every man has one or more wonderful qualities. And, everybody - including your husband - likes to be made to feel special. Find ways to genuinely compliment him on whatever it is that makes him really shine. This will increase his warm feelings toward you.
- Show interest in your personal appearance:
As the marriage progress over time, some people can let themselves go and tend to show less interest in their own appearance. Just doing little things to make yourself more attraction will get his attention.
- Talk with him about exciting things you would like to do together:
When you are talking together, try to think of trips you will take and things you will see and do together as a couple. These could be just dreams or concrete plans - it doesn't matter.
- Tell him how much he means to you:
Your husband is human and therefore likes to feel loved and appreciated. Tell him often how much you appreciate all he does for you and your family.
- Do some innocent flirting with other men:
Men find their wives more attractive when other men find them attractive, too. Find a way to flirt innocently and you will get his attention. Caution: be sure to steer far clear of going over the line from flirtation into cheating. Healthy flirting, when done right and ethically, can actually help stir the fires of passion in a marriage.
Make Him Utterly Adore You
My husband ignores me is not a phrase any married woman wants to find herself thinking, let alone saying. Marriage is supposed to be a balanced partnership where both people feel valued and adored. If you reach a point where you don't believe your husband is listening to you anymore or he seems preoccupied with everything but you, it's disheartening. You inevitably start to feel neglected and that will cause you to withdraw. Eventually your marriage will start to come apart and you'll reach a point where divorce will seem like the next logical step. It certainly doesn't need to be that way. You have the power to make your husband more attentive and get him to actually fall even deeper in love with you than when you first became his wife all those years ago.
Whenever a wife says to herself, my husband ignores me, she feels as though her needs aren't being met in the relationship. Perhaps her husband doesn't listen when she's talking to him or she's feeling neglected because he's no longer interested in intimacy. Women can even feel ignored if their husband forgets their birthday or another important date like an anniversary. Regardless of what's happened to make you feel ignored, you first and foremost need to take stock of your own behavior in the marriage.
In order for a marriage to thrive both partners have to be willing to put in the effort. The old saying that you should treat others as you wish to be treated definitely rings true when it comes to married couples. Have you been as attentive with your husband's needs as you used to be? Have there been times when he's come to you wanting to talk and you've brushed him aside because you've been busy? Or do you have less time to devote to him because your life has become full with the needs of your children, household duties and work? Any behavior like this can actually result in your husband pulling back and ultimately ignoring you.
Starting today treat your husband in the same way you want him to treat you. This isn't easy when you're a woman feeling upset and emotionally ignored by your husband. It's going to take some effort. If he starts to feel more warmth and adoration from you, chances are very good that he'll open up emotionally again. Sometimes a woman has to take the first step towards improving her relationship with her husband and he'll follow her lead. This can result in a brand new beginning for the marriage.
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